Going grocery shopping is a big event now. Not that it’s one I want tickets to, but somehow I always land the VIP seating. And since I usually have a toddler in tow, I’ve gotten pretty good at saying no. We’ll pass by the candy, the seasonal items, the sugar cereal, or the fun trinkets and I can predict the “oooh, look!” I’ll say something along the lines of, “Not today,” and steer the cart on past. Thankfully, we have few meltdowns because my daughter is used to such a response. Not that it’s any of my doing. As much as I’d like to think I’ve done my duty as a responsible parent, I think it’s partly her personality. Either way, I’m grateful.

I’m also not naive. I know there will be a time when my children ask for things I can’t give to them, and they won’t be so accepting of the no. There will be tantrums and fits, screaming and slammed doors, tears and hurtful words. My hope is that when the storm has passed, they will understand that my denial was an act of love.

I imagine we seem much the same to God. We plead our case, begging for a certain outcome, then blame Him when we don’t get what we want. And all the while, He waits for us to see that His plan is bigger than we can wrap our heads around.

When I was a teen and younger-than-now adult, people used to tell me to desire as God desires. But what does that really mean? After all, I thought I was asking for things after His own heart. A specific type of relationship, a job opportunity, school achievements–all good things. It wasn’t until later that someone opened my eyes to a truth that has stuck with me: we can ask for the right things at the wrong time.

Of course, God is a Father who gives good gifts. He knows the desires of our hearts and what we think would make us happy. But He also knows what will bring us true joy. And those things are sometimes at odds with each other.

Losing a job, the loss of a child, sickness in the family–we wonder why we’re allowed to endure such heartache. In the midst of trials, it’s easy to shake a fist at God and scream, why?

He may not give us any answers. But it’s in the asking and waiting that He works.

Just like I must teach my children that they can’t always have candy and toys, God teaches us to discipline our hearts. It’s not that we must ask for trials, but that we learn how to praise the Lord within them.

Discipline usually isn’t fun, but it is necessary. And once we learn to desire the things God desires, it becomes a lot easier to accept His answer, whatever that may be.

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