A common response I get when people find out I’ve written (and am publishing) a book is “how do you have time?” Usually the question comes from other moms juggling their own responsibilities and is followed by “I could never do that.”

Though I don’t believe everyone is called to write a book, I do think the implied mindset in that response is exactly the reason most people don’t pursue their dreams. Because like achieving any goal, productivity boils down to priorities. 

God is my first priority. Then family. All other things fall lower on my list. So how do I prioritize the important things while still making time for less important—though no less fulfilling—ones?

The short answer—time management.

The long answer—read on. (Spoiler: It’s living within my calling.)

My Winding Path to Publication

When did I decide to pursue writing seriously? Was it as a student when I wrote multiple full novels and outlined numerous projects in my free time? No. Was it during the worst job I ever held and I sought escape from the horror of my 3rd grade classroom? No. Was it during the early days of the pandemic when most people picked up new hobbies out of sheer boredom and overabundant free time? No again.

It wasn’t until I sat alone while my months-old baby napped in the next room that I broke down, feeling like everything I did ended in failure. Why? Because I have a hard time with follow-through. That’s what I told myself. There was truth in that statement, but it wasn’t the full reason.

The whole truth? I was resisting God’s long-established call on my life. That was the real reason all my own plans fell apart. And once I accepted that the person I was trying to become was different from the one the Lord was shaping me to be, everything became clear.

When I died to my own expectations for my life, I found the energy to pursue something outside of my daily tasks. And the result has been far more life-giving than I ever imagined. Because living within my calling helps everything else work together toward a common goal. And understanding my calling provides much-needed perspective when navigating life’s ups and downs.

Lessons Learned from the Trenches

1. There’s rarely a “right time” for things. There’s only “this time.”

I used to be paralyzed to embark on new endeavors because I wanted to “get it right” the first time. In my mind, the more efficiently I did a task at the outset, the better the end result would be. However, I realize now that there’s hardly ever a perfect moment to begin something. Waiting until the stars align will leave me gazing ever upward and missing the life happening around me. And we grow the most through honing the process, not perfecting our first effort.

2. I don’t find time—I make time.

Where we spend our time reveals our priorities. And if I only allocate my leftovers to the things I say are important (such as writing or Bible study) I’ll find very little nourishment goes that direction. I’m reminded of the Biblical concept of firstfruits—the Israelites gave God the first of their harvest before they knew they had enough to feed their families. Their sacrifice illustrated their faith in His provision. In much the same way, I can bring God my firstfruits for kingdom work and trust that He will pave the way for the rest.

3. Kids don’t hinder our dreams—they enhance them.

Though few openly say as much, I sometimes get the feeling people believe life stops after having kids. It breaks my heart to hear young or seasoned moms say they gave up on [fill in the blank] once they had a family. And while there are certainly sacrifices I make now that I wouldn’t have five years ago, I’ve found that bringing my family along leads to a far richer experience for everyone. Because if my calling is worth pursuing, why should I assume others aren’t meant to be part of the journey?

4. Kids force us to slow down, giving us time to savor the process.

Motherhood is full of stalled plans and sick days. Instead of resenting my lost time, I try to accept these detours as gifts. The fever won’t last forever, but the memory of intentional care during a time of need plants deep roots within a child’s heart. And how often am I like a child learning to do a task—messy, full of mistakes, frustrated at my lack of ability? I could do with offering myself the kind of grace I give my toddlers as they master the art of eating with cutlery. Learning new things takes time, and the process is an important part of growth.

5. Focused productivity is powerful.

When I know my work time is limited, my mindset shifts. Each minute of uninterrupted space is a precious thing to be stewarded. And when I have a plan going into that work time, I find myself able to meet those goals more consistently because I don’t allow distractions (hello, social media) to creep in.

6. Changing plans doesn’t mean giving up.

There’s a saying that goes “no plan survives contact with the enemy.” I love how accurately this describes life with kids. I may plan to enjoy my morning coffee and work on a blog post while my girls eat breakfast peacefully at the table. But then a dropped drink leads to me mopping all my floors and it isn’t until lunchtime that I notice my untouched mug still on the counter. I could live out my days frustrated that every plan gets derailed, or I could press on with contentment knowing I did what that moment called for. And there are ways to redeem the time lost to unexpected detours, if I’m willing to look for them.

7. Chaos does not equal failure.

Life is messy. Sometimes even loud, disorganized, and unruly. We fight against entropy every day, and sometimes the forces of nature win. But that doesn’t mean we’re failures. Only that we have another chance to bring order to our cluttered worlds the next day. Because often the fight isn’t about winning—it’s about honing our survival skills in a chaotic world.

8. Embrace the beauty of the mundane.

Some days feel like drudgery. And then I experience an upheaval in routine and find myself longing for the very same normalcy I once scorned. Those dishes welcome me like old friends, and that laundry pile is just another dragon to be vanquished. Of course I still welcome the occasional adventure. But routine is the framework from which my creativity can flourish.

9. Margin matters.

This is the area I struggle with the most. I understand the importance of blank space when it comes to visual design, so why can’t I implement buffers in my activities? Probably because creating margin means giving up something else. And giving up things means admitting I can’t do it all. But creating margin allows those unexpected moments, whether good or bad, to run their course in due time. And even if all goes as planned, a little extra space to rest never hurt anybody.

Accepting the Season of Lukewarm

Will I ever again enjoy my coffee while it’s still hot? Maybe… But until then, I live in contentment knowing I’m called to this right now. To the messes, to the endless housework, to the tears of frustration from overtired kids. Because those tasks are shaping me and giving me the perspective I need to hold every moment sacred.

And this season won’t last forever. So the time is now to savor what precious opportunities I have to make every moment matter for the Kingdom.

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