It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind of tasks and appointments. Especially around the holidays, it often feels like life becomes a blur of getting things done and preparing for one big event that’s over in a matter of hours.
But sometimes, all of that comes to a halt.
There are times when no lists get checked off, no phone calls are made, no meetings are attended. It’s as if the calendar is wiped blank and a big line of NOTHING is penciled in.
The last couple weeks have felt like this. Caught in the dichotomy of wanting to do both everything and nothing, I feel like I’m viewing my life through the wrong end of a telescope. And while I know life is more than to-do lists and achievements, I also don’t want to look back and wonder if my contributions to the Kingdom were worthwhile.
Though I know it’s only for a short while longer, each day that passes finds me struggling to steward the precious time God has given me before my life is thrown into upheaval once again.
The question that truly plagues me is this: How do we maintain an attitude of expectancy without putting our lives on hold?
In this time of waiting, I find myself reflecting on what Jesus said to his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane: “‘Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak’” (Mark 14:38). While Jesus sweated drops of blood in the fervency of his prayers, the disciples slept on through one of the most important nights in history. Is this the legacy I want to carry on in my own life?
When we wait expectantly for something, it can be tempting to forgo all else until our hopes are fulfilled. But Jesus called his followers to wake up and continue steadfastly in the faith until his next coming. Their bodies were tired and sought only to meet their physical need for rest, but they were asleep to Christ’s purpose in the waiting. They were to continue the pursuit of their Savior, and to contend for the faith they held dear.
My flesh often urges me to give in to idle uses of my time, yet I know there are better ways to bring glory to God. Prayer, study of Scripture, teaching my daughter about the Lord–these are all things that far outweigh any momentary gratification I get from personal entertainment. It may seem like a small thing to trade one for the other, but the impact is eternal.
Waiting for a baby to arrive has shed new light on what it means to be expectant. Each shower I take or meal I eat could be my last one for a while, so I find myself able to cherish them more. Every good night’s sleep is a blessing, even if there’s a large part of me that wants the interruption and late night trek to the hospital. My attitude in the waiting could be one of complacency, or it could be one of thanksgiving for all the blessings I’ve been given during this time.
It’s my heart’s inward leaning that shapes how I view the waiting, whether it’s the birth of my baby or the coming of my King. So I know that I can be expectant without being idle, for there is much to do to prepare for the future. Even if my physical body is held up with its need for rest, I can still pray earnestly, for “‘the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few’” (Luke 10:2).