It’s been one year since I set out on this blogging journey, and I’m so thankful the Lord prompted me to embark at that time. While it’s my hope that my words have impacted others, the biggest boon in my personal life has been the discipline required to plan and publish my thoughts. Sticking with things has always been a challenge for me, because as soon as the hazy conceptual phase begins to shift to the more realistic daily grind, I tend to check out. But unfortunately for us dreamers, the world doesn’t operate on ideals and must be faced with determination and discipline if anything is going to get done.
Nowhere am I reminded of this more than in my parenting. When I plan out the day only to have my schedule usurped by sickness, or rain, or a toddler who refuses to eat breakfast and would rather walk around naked–those are the times I feel like checking out. But the beautiful (and scary) thing about motherhood is that there’s no exit button. Kids don’t stop being cranky just because I throw my hands up in defeat. No matter how much I push and try to assert my will, sometimes there’s nothing I can do to make it happen. I just have to ride out the storm of difficulty and cling to the One who will hold me fast.
We’re nearing my daughter’s second birthday, and it still amazes me how quickly the time has passed. Wasn’t it just yesterday I brought home a tiny baby, overwhelmed and at a loss that she was mine? No matter how much preparation is done or how much well-intentioned advice is given by loved ones, nothing prepares you for the abrupt transition into parenting. But the one lesson I’m most grateful for is this: Motherhood is a reflection of God’s love for us, because like an earthly parent who imperfectly strives to love their children, He perfectly loves us, perfect sinners that we are.
One of my friends told me recently that her children remind her every day how much she’s still being sanctified. I couldn’t agree more. After all, there’s nothing in the Bible that promises sanctification is easy. Sometimes the fun isn’t there because it’s all I can do just to get through the day without screaming. But like all good things, parenting requires sacrifice and discipline. We learn to persevere because we have no other choice. But ultimately, I should press on because it is the task the Lord has given me in this season. It should cause me to face each day with joy that I have the opportunity to care for some of His children here on earth to the best of my ability.
As we prepare to welcome another little one into the world this November, I’m excited and intimidated to start over, in a sense, with a new baby. I know this time will be different, but the challenge is what drives me. Like any other job I could have, there are skills required to make things run smoothly, and tricks of the trade I’ve learned through experience. But mindset is a big part of it too.
I prefer to think of motherhood more as an art than a job. Sure, there are daily tasks that must be completed, but much like following the notes on a musical score, there’s a certain life the musician must breathe into the piece. I can choose to make lunch as quickly as possible so I can move onto the next thing, or I can choose to involve little “helpers” who make the job more difficult, certainly, but who also gain more than just the physical food we prepare together. I often have to remind myself of my true purpose in my family’s life. I am a teacher, nurturer, one whose role is to help my children develop into the people God created them to be. My primary mission field is the home, so it deserves all the creativity and passion I have.
Even on days when I spend hours preparing a meal only to have a fussy kid turn her nose up at it…
Like writing, like sewing, like painting or any other creative pursuit, there is discipline to motherhood. Skills aren’t innate, and technique must be honed through practice. Inspiration adds a nice flair, but my growth must be built on more than the occasional burst of creativity. I must develop habits, and it all starts with my own internal life. Do I spend time connecting with my Savior? Praying for my family? Studying the Word? Or am I merely going through the motions, waiting for a time in the future when I can “have my life back?”
It might be messy, it might be imperfect, but this is the life God has called me to in this season. And I look forward to every opportunity to grow in my understanding of my Father as I strive to fulfill the role He set aside for me.