The valley below is scattered with thousands of tents, small campfires dotting the night. Within each tent sleeps a fierce warrior, ruthless fighters born and bred for war. The army’s target: the homeland your people have waited for generations to inhabit. As you look around at your own men, the mere 300 soldiers seems like a drop against that ocean below. But there is yet hope, for God has given them into your hand. All He requires is your trust.
Perhaps this scene is a familiar one from the Old Testament story of Gideon. I often find myself returning to the tale of one man who trusted God’s promises and led Israel to victory against unthinkable odds. After all, who doesn’t love a good underdog story? But I also relate to the first part of the story, which puts our hero in a bit more of a human light. An angel appears to Gideon bringing words of encouragement and Gideon’s response is basically, “How can God be with us if all these awful things are happening?” The angel reassures him that the Lord will deliver Midian into Israel’s hand through Gideon, but it isn’t until he receives a tangible sign from God that Gideon goes on his way believing it.
If that weren’t enough, Gideon starts to doubt again and asks God for yet another confirmation: the sign of the fleece. The first night, he asks God to make the fleece alone wet with dew, which God does. Still plagued by unbelief, Gideon tests the Lord by asking for all the ground to be wet but not the fleece. God answers him yet again, which is more patience than he deserved, in my opinion. Maybe Gideon hoped God wouldn’t answer, leaving him off the hook for whatever task he’d been called to. But when the signs were undeniable and he couldn’t run from the evidence anymore, Gideon finally stepped up to do what God had planned for him from the beginning.
Gideon’s cycle of doubting the Lord’s plan for his life resonates very strongly with me, and as much as I hate to admit it, I tend to fall into the same patterns of testing God. Maybe it’s my futile way of trying to take control of my own life when circumstances seem beyond my control. I ask, “Is this really what you have planned for me?” and beg for a sign that He is good. And God always answers, just not usually in the way I expect.
Yet there are other times when I’m not even trying to test God’s wisdom. Though there are plenty of seasons of doubting that lead me down a winding path to nowhere, there are also seasons of wrestling that lead to spiritual growth and a more solid grounding in my faith. Sometimes, it’s after those internal battles when I thought I came out victorious that God stretches me just a little further. Like Gideon, I must then decide to continue trusting in the Lord’s plan or to shy away from the fight.
I was recently reflecting on a personal journey to contentment, which has been on my mind a lot lately. Every day, I’m finding more to be thankful for as I attempt to see the world through God’s eyes instead of my own. But even in this season of thankfulness, the Lord beckons me to trust just a little more. It feels like He is paying back all the times I’ve questioned Him and testing the weight of my own words that I will be content in all circumstances.
It’s a little scary when God takes us at our word. Because sometimes we speak without fully believing we’ll get an answer, so we feel safe in our bubble of doubt. Of course, God isn’t controlled by human efforts, and He acts according to His own will. But I’ve seen in my own life that when my heart is sincere, the Holy Spirit has a way of entering in so my conviction can be put through the fire. And as much as I want to shy away from the heat, I know that at the end of it all, I will emerge more like Christ.
The question I keep hearing in my spirit is simple yet profound: Do you trust me? My answer shouldn’t be based on feeling, because emotions are often misguided. Instead, I must make the conscious choice to trust because I know that God is good.
So yes, I do trust in my Savior. His plan for me is good, and neither storms nor fires will change that.